Yesterday was the last day of school, and it’s finally summer. I never write anything on tumblr anymore. But to compensate, here’s a bit of my junior year in pictures. :)
Hopefully I’ll just look back on these and remember the year. It started out fine. In fact I thought I couldn’t be any happier. Halfway through an unexpected turn of events kind of threw me off track. To be completely honest, I really don’t remember that much of earlier this year since I tried to forget it all. It took me a while to get back on my feet, and it’s definitely changed me as a person. But I’m glad I went through it because of what I’ve gotten out of it. Looking back on it now, I realize that there were so many things wrong that I didn’t notice, simply because I wanted to live in the bliss. So I ignored it, then it slammed me when everything suddenly changed and I was broken.
At first I didn’t see hope in anything, I didn’t even feel like me. I just ran away from my problems mentally, I would avoid them completely. I would make myself so busy with schoolwork and activities so I wouldn’t have time alone to feel miserable. I stayed up really late doing anything just to exhaust myself so I wouldn’t have to lie in bed at night struggling to fall asleep. I stopped eating, I guess just because I didn’t enjoy food as much. This year I learned a lot about myself and I realized how weak I truly am. And although I’m disappointed in myself, I’m glad I learned.
But with time I realized I wanted to feel better because I was sick and tired of being sad all the time. And I wanted to be happy for me and not anyone else. I ended up making new, close friends out of some acquaintances. Random people I’d known but never expected to actually be good friends with, and they didn’t know each other too well before either. I had no idea that putting us together would result in close, committed friendships. To be completely honest, they turned my life around for the better. And I don’t know what’ll happen next or how summer will go but I hope I keep these 6 people around for a long time because they make life phenomonominal. ♥
And also, next year is going to be a big change. Senior year… I’m so not ready for it. I’m also going to miss our sophomores juniors seniors college kids next year. Not having any of the big kids to look up to will be a bit different. I remember feeling special having them as friends, simply because not everyone had good friends from other grades. But I was lucky enough to get that from my first year in high school. FASA fam changed and pretty much made my 3 years of high school so far pretty damn fucking awesome. But next year will have to be great too, even if they’re not there as often. I’m nervous and excited for next year. Governor’s school… Senior year… College apps. It’s all going to go by so quickly, then graduation. Okay, life. Let’s go on a ride. :)
